The Cooper Street Relic

Just another blog from The Republic Of Hespeler

From The Cambridge Advocate ..July 15 2058.

The City residents of Cambridge Ontario let out a collective sigh of disappointment today as an almost 50 year old Time capsule was dug up today by the oldest living retired mayor Thomas Vann. “What a bunch of crap” seemed to be the collective feeling of the many who braved the freezing temperatures and the snow that fell over night. “Why could we have not opened this in November when it is warmer” Jane Mitzell asked, “What where the people who buried this crap thinking” she added. The time capsule was contained in a large box which looked like it was made out of old election signs bearing the words'”Re-elect Doug” which baffled many in attendance as they had no idea of whom that refered to. However the people that did show up got a good fireworks show as the demolition of the City hall went as planned and the explosions could be felt all the way to Cowsill land across the 401. Strangely though no one showed up from Kieeferville, though it appears their Councillor was out of town on an excursion and forgot to tell his people about it.

“Originally we were very excited to open this thing” stated current Mayor and Head Vampire Victoria Clark, “But once we opened it we realized there was nothing but crap in it.”   When it was opened they found no gold or silver just a lot of useless things that told them how things were in this city back at the turn of the downslide that engulfed the area. There were photographs of the then City Council and Mayor, but since someone forgot to put names on the pictures they could not be identified, and really no one cared. There were postcards from a previous time which showed the downtown area bustling and happy”Why would they put fantasy items in here” was what most people wondered about. There were pictures of the bridges going over Grand River and that was interesting as there were no toll bridges visible” You mean people used to go to the West Side without paying a toll” How barbaric stated a West Side resident. There were city documents showing when the City had no debt, causing uproarious laughter from the assembled politicians that were there.  There was picture of a water fountain, something that most residents had only been told about by their Grandparents, and the odd looking booth picture that contain something like a phone puzzled many of the onlookers.  In the end people went away disappointed in what was found there.  All of the articles will be kept at the abandoned Drayton building until they figure out how to display the junk they found.

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