The Cooper Street Relic

Just another blog from The Republic Of Hespeler

Everybody who reads my ramblings knows that I am unemployed, and while the job search continues I find that I have begun to learn many an Interesting thing or two while spending time around the homestead.

I have already discovered that turning myself into an alcoholic is way too expensive, but I gave it the old college try anyway.I now know how to fill the ice Cube tray in the freezer and how to change the toilet paper roll, those are things I could put in my resume, couldn’t I?  I have discovered the difference between the Laundry hamper and the bedroom floor, and my wife has never been happier about it, I guess hanging my pants on the floor won’t work anymore.

Having more time to sit down and have dinner with my wife has allowed me to discover that after eating that the dishes do not levitate and fly into the sink by themselves, really guy’s, it is not elves that do either.  I also discovered how to find things by looking instead of cursing and screaming, it is amazing what you have to do without your wife around. And guy’s, did you know that the back of a womans hand hurts against the back of the your head? It sure ain’t the same as a headboard, that’s for sure.

I have found out that I do not look good in High Heels, or low cut dresses and that the Fashion Police do exist as well. I now know that if I don’t shave for a few day’s instead of looking like Don Johnson from Miami Vice I look like Otis from Andy of Mayberry. I discovered that chocolate will not cause Acne(at least I hope not) and that if you put hairspray on dust bunnies and light them on fire they still leave a mess.

But perhaps the biggest thing I have learned during the last month came from one of my Grand kids. She suffers from Autism and one day while babysitting her she told me her secret ” Smile for no reason at all, it freaks adults out”

Oh, and ignore that comment about the High heels, please?

One thought on “Some Things I have learned while Unemployed.

  1. Esther Smith says:

    Horray for humor during frustrating times.

    You know you’re an excellent worker. The kind of employee an employer wants. You come to work on time, work late, take on increased responsibilities, develop new skills, work well with others, help out where you are needed, demonstrate strong leadership skills, mind your own business, meet and/or exceed expectations, are dependable and you get the job done!

    May I suggest they don’t deserve you; you ought to be working for YOU… not them. I say this knowing you must have scanned through that sea of hype and BS on the Net, those promises of get-rich-quick by selling pills or potions. I hate sales myself and have come to the conclusion that it has to be in your DNA. You either have it or you don’t; and I don’t.

    While I assure you of no selling, let me make one not so small point: this is a business that gives you residual income. You can leave this business in your will, you can put it in a trust fund… you can even sell it although I don’t know why you would sell a goose that lays golden eggs.

    We are all victims of our choices. Lord knows I’ve made some bad ones in my lifetime. Don’t spend your idle days reading Chicken Soup for the Sole Costs Too Much Now, instead come to my website below and contact me when you’ve looked it over. I look forward to meeting you.

    Esther Smith, publisher

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